My Erotic Ambassador
by Chiara Alice Vargas
Summary: Alfred asked Arthur to do a small favour for him and since he /is/ the erotic ambassador and all, this should be no problem for him. He reluctantly accepts, and everyone's happy. Slightly cracky USUKUS, Rated M for smut all over.
1. I Hope That Was In HD

**My Erotic Ambassador**  
**A USUKUS fanfic**  
**Rated M**  
**Warning: **_Smut/sexual content and slight crackyness because I can. This is the brainchild of a perverted, grounded teenager who wanted to write smut at 8 PM. USUKUS._  
**By Galgenhumor (FF/AO3) / cl41r3 (Tumblr)**

**Chapter 1: I Hope That Was In HD**

* * *

"Hey Artie, you're known as the erotic ambassador, right?" Alfred asked him one morning.

Arthur almost spat out the tea he was drinking. Who in their right mind would even ask that so openly? He flushed beet red and stuttered, "Wh-why do you ask?"

"No reason." Alfred shrugged, taking a spoonful of cereal into his mouth.

"Y-you can't just… _ask _that out of the blue! There has to be a reason, at least!" he set his tea down onto the saucer; the tinkling sound made by the contact of the china was barely audible. He closed the newspaper he was reading, looking at Alfred curiously. What made him ask such a thing so early in the morning?

"I just wanted to ask you something."

"How is my being an erotic ambassador even relevant towards that?"

"So you _are _an erotic ambassador! Ha!" Alfred grinned triumphantly, clapping his hands together.

"Wha― I― Alfred!" he stammered, having tricked by the American yet again.

"Anyway, since you're like, the erotic ambassador, you must have tried everything, right? All those kinks and stuff?" Alfred leaned closer across the table, his eyes gleaming.

"N-not _every _kink..." Arthur had to save the tiny shred of dignity he had left.

"Well, you get my point." Alfred shrugged, then continued, "So, Arthur, I want you to do something for me!" he clapped a hand on Arthur's shoulder, lightly startling the smaller man.

"What in the world do you want me to do for you, Alfred?" he raised an eyebrow.

"I want you..." he leaned in closer to whisper into Arthur's ear, "...to make a porno."

Arthur's eyes widened and his cheeks grew redder, as if it was possible to even do that considering how flushed he already was.

"What?" he exclaimed incredulously, looking at him in shock. Alfred's never asked him to do things for him before, so this came as a surprise.

"You heard me." a mischievous grin was plastered onto Alfred's face.

"B-but why?"

"Eh, well, I haven't really watched some good porn in a long time," Alfred shrugged and Arthur felt a bit annoyed at him for watching porn when they were together, though he did not voice out that concern, "and I thought, 'Hey, Alfred, you know what would make a really good porno to watch? Porno of your boyfriend! Yeah!'"

Arthur didn't want to hear this, really. What came over him, anyway?

Arthur frowned at him, looking pissed off to the highest degree. "Did you think I would actually oblige to that idiotic idea of yours?" he snarled at him, but his anger didn't really have an effect on Alfred.

"Yup, 'cause we both know you love me and we both know you'd do it anyway!" Alfred laughed.

_Cheeky git!,_Arthur thought. It was quite presumptuous of Alfred to think that Arthur would actually give in to his little plan.

"Besides, you know I need to go back to America for 3 weeks because of my stupid boss. Three weeks is a long time and I'll be lonely, so I guess it'll be me, my right hand and your porno for approximately 21 nights. Come on, Arthur, please do me this favour?" he mock-pouted and gave Arthur those puppy dog eyes which they both know he can't resist.

"I hate you, Alfred. I hate you so much." Arthur growled spitefully.

"Aw, yeah! You're the best, babe!" he grabbed Arthur by the shoulders and pressed his lips smack right onto his.

What did you just get yourself into this time?, Arthur thought with a sigh as he was finally released and allowed to sit back on his chair.

* * *

One night, when Alfred had gone out for drinks with Gilbert and Mathias, Arthur decided that he could not put it off any longer. He had to make the video for Alfred.

He wished he could get out of this, really. This damaged both his dignity _and _integrity. In the very least, he wished he was drunk right now so that he honestly wouldn't know what he was doing. He set up the video camera on a table and moved it in front of his bed. Their bed, actually. His and Alfred's.

Arthur figured that if he was going to this, he better do it well. Give him a show and all. That's what he wanted, right?

Arthur turned on the camera, the tiny green light signaling him that the video was recording.

Arthur sidled onto the bed, in front of the camera. He had his best, his most erotic smirk on as he said, "Hey Alfred, here's the video you asked me to make for you. I hope you and your right hand will have a fun ride~." in the best seductive voice he could muster. He only hoped that he didn't sound like he was trying too hard.

He started to peel off his clothes, giving Alfred a little striptease. Clothes were discarded, placed around and off the bed, not being given a second thought. He kept his mind focused on Alfred, focused on pleasuring him with this video. He imagined how Alfred would react to this, how he would just drool lustfully as he watched the video, maybe even pleasure himself as he watched, and then he would replay it every night until he was allowed to go back to England and finally get a piece of this British arse after 3 weeks of wanting. The mere idea aroused him, his cock already going hard.

After getting all his clothes off, he ran his hand delicately over his smooth, fair skin, and took his nipple between his two fingers and gave it a nice, good pinch. He moaned a bit, careful not to sound too wanton so early into the video. The real thing was better than this, but self-pleasuring was also nice from time to time for Arthur. After all, he _was _an erotic ambassador.

He took some of the lube and slicked his right hand before he let it go down to his painful, unattended erection. He lightly touched his balls, fondling it a bit, before he ghosted his fingers over the base of his shaft. He wrapped his fingers around it, stroking himself slowly. He picked up the pace a bit, moaning as he pleased himself. He was already flushed and sweaty, his hair sticking to his forehead.

He felt himself getting close, but he abruptly stopped. The show's not over yet. He gave a devilish smirk towards the camera, a smirk he saved just for Alfred.

He lubed up the fingers of his left hand, before getting into a position comfortable enough for his next little act. He pushed his index finger in, the warm hole enveloping his finger. He shuddered a bit at the sensation. "Mm..." he said, licking his lips which had gone dry.

He pushed a second finger in, stretching himself out by scissoring and rocking his fingers back and forth. Another finger was added. He began to thrust his fingers in different angles, finding his prostate. He had done this so many times before on those lonely nights when he had no one to do it for him. He pretty much had it memorised.

"Alfred..." he muttered to himself as his breath hitched. He took hold of his dripping cock yet again, stroking it in the same rhythm.

"A-agh...!" he exclaimed, having found his prostate. He smirked to himself as he struck it again and again while he pumped his length. He couldn't take it anymore, he needed his release.

"Alfred...!" he moaned out loud as his back arched and he came, his cheeks flushed and all dignity lost. He didn't even notice that he had said his lover's name. Maybe it was because he actually imagined him fucking him into the sheets, instead of him just masturbating to the thought of him. Either way, it was a good effect for the video.

He had ejaculated into his hand, a bit of his essences getting on his body and on the bed, which he hoped it wouldn't be that noticeable.

He slid his fingers out of himself, making a soft, wet pop. He smirked; he was actually able to do this! He wasn't really sure if he was to be proud or embarrassed at himself.

He sighed contentedly, relieved. His chest rose and fell for a few moments, trying to catch his breath. When it had stabilised, he leaned towards the camera and smirked, "I hope you enjoyed that, because that was all for you, babe." he winked before pressing a button to stop the recording.

"Thank God it's over..." he groaned to himself as he collapsed onto the bed, all spent and tired. Well, he couldn't say it really was a bad idea. Both of them got something for it so it was win-win.

He heard the door downstairs unlock and open; Alfred had come home from his drinking night. The adrenalin pumped in his body suddenly made him gather all his clothes and fix the bed, hide the camera and put all his clothes back on all before Alfred gets to their bedroom.

"Hey babe." Alfred gave him a tired smile as he entered their room.

"Oh, hey." he looked up from his book, lying down on his bed, pretending to read. He tried to act casual, but actually he was sweating a lot in nervousness.

"What have ya been up to?" Alfred asked him with a grin, his words slightly slurred. He looked tipsy and all. He walked over to their bed and sat down on the foot of the bed.

"Nothing much. Reading." he shrugged. Alfred nodded and removed his clothes up to his boxers before scooting over beside Arthur.

"Man, I'm tired." he sighed. "Well, at least I didn't come home as drunk as those two." he chuckled. By 'those two', he meant Mathias and Gilbert.

"Good for you." Arthur chuckled and nodded as well.

"I'm going to go to sleep now. Good night, Artie." Alfred yawned and stretched his arms. Arthur nodded and turned off the lamp.

He honestly hoped Alfred wouldn't notice the stains on their bed.

* * *

**Author's Notes:** WHAT DID I JUST WRITE HAHA. This is the 2nd time I've written fanfiction smut. Forgive me if it kinda sucked. It's not yet over, you know. I have a load of ideas for this little shit, so I'm not stopping yet. I think I just got this huge urge to smut. Why.

Oh, and by the way, still grounded and stuff, semi-hiatus and all. Damn...

Anyway, review and stuff, I'll type up the next chapter soon~


	2. Do You Have That In 3D?

**My Erotic Ambassador**  
**A USUKUS fanfic**  
**Rated M**  
**Warning: **_Smut/sexual content and slight crackyness because I can. This is the brainchild of a perverted, grounded teenager who wanted to write smut at 8 PM. USUKUS._  
**By Galgenhumor (FF/AO3) / cl41r3 (Tumblr)**

**Chapter 2: Do You Have That In 3D?**

* * *

"I only have 30 minutes until my flight leaves, so make it quick!" Alfred reminded him. Arthur had grabbed the back of his jacket, telling him that he needed to tell him something before he left.

"Well, um... Here." he handed him a nondescript CD. It was labelled "To Alfred, with love from Arthur". How cheesy of him. Arthur looked quite timid and shy as he did so, like innocent-shy.

Alfred raised an eyebrow. "What's this? If this is another video of me talking in my sleep, I don't want it." he frowned. How could he forget that time Arthur showed him this video he recorded of him talking and drooling in his sleep, most likely dreaming about something quite obscene? It mortified Alfred, even if it was just between the two of them.

"It's not. Just take it, you'll like it." he smiled at him, and Alfred believed him. Arthur was quite thankful that he had forgotten what he asked for a few days ago. It would make for a good surprise once he loads it into his laptop or DVD player.

"Yeah, sure, thanks Artie." Alfred grinned and leaned down to give him one last kiss before they parted for three weeks. They've been separated from one another longer than that, of course, but they grew so used to the other's company, it still saddens them when one of them has to leave for work, usually upon the orders of their boss.

"I'll get going now, see ya in three weeks, Artie." he grinned and ruffled his boyfriend's hair (he knew how much Arthur hated it; he just liked to annoy him like that) before leaving, giving him a small wave on the way.

Arthur saw him off before going back home, where he'll be alone for the next few weeks.

* * *

Alfred sat on his couch in the living room of his house in the U.S. It was already evening, yet he didn't feel sleepy. Jet lag sometimes didn't affect him, and the fact that he finished off a large bottle of Coke didn't really help.

It's been 3 months since he's returned to this house, though it's not very dusty. Perhaps the cleaning lady he hired still came over to clean the place up. She must have been pleased to clean up less burger wrappers and softdrink cups while Alfred was gone.

He had texted Arthur that he was already home, and all Arthur replied was, "oh great go watch the video now". Alfred grew curious just what this video was about, so he popped the CD inside the DVD player. "Ok ill watch the video now" Alfred texted back. While the video loaded, his phone rang and he could hear the special ringtone he assigned for Arthur's contact number.

"Yo, Artie!" he said into the receiver.

"You're about to watch the video now?" he asked Alfred. The sound of his voice laden with a thick, sleepy British accent made Alfred happy. It was probably past midnight or something there. Just a few hours apart from one another and he missed him already.

"Yeah, it's still loading and oh―! There it is..."

The video began to play. At first it showed and empty bed, then Arthur came into the scene. "Hey Alfred, here's the video you asked me to make for you. I hope you and your right hand'll have a fun ride~." the Arthur on the video said. He was smirking quite deviously. Alfred stared at the TV in shock.

"Artie, you actually did this?" he said in disbelief. He wanted to laugh hysterically into the receiver, but he might hurt Arthur's feelings. He didn't think Arthur would actually go through with this!

"W-well, you said you wanted one to take with you to America!" Arthur answered defiantly. He probably was blushing right now, but Alfred wouldn't know since he couldn't see him.

Alfred fell silent as the Arthur on the screen began stripping. He felt quite hot and bothered watching this. The fact that Arthur actually went through the trouble to do this for him, even if it was a ridiculous request, touched him.

Arthur kept quiet on the other line, waiting for Alfred to react. Alfred wouldn't, because his mind was fixated on his lover's body on the screen.

"Oh, God..." Alfred managed to mutter when Arthur had moaned once. Damn, he's hot., he thought.

Arthur began to stroke himself with his lubed up hand, and Alfred couldn't help but get aroused at the sight of him. He actually wanted to hop back onto the plane and back to Arthur's place. This is so unfair.

"Arthur, you―"

"Shh, just keep watching, love." Arthur interrupted him, smirking into the receiver. Arthur wanted to hear the video play in the background, wanted to hear Alfred's reaction towards it. He hoped Alfred would even please himself to the sight of Arthur's body doing such obscene things on the porn video.

Alfred gulped, his hand going to the zipper of his pants. He honestly couldn't help it. His growing erection was getting quite painful and hard to ignore. He took off his pants and leaned against the couch, holding the phone between his ear and his shoulder as his right hand lightly stroked his clothed member.

Arthur's light moans filled the silence of the dark room which was only illuminated by the television screen. Alfred's breathing turned rapid and hot, and Arthur could hear him from the other side of the line. Needless to say, they were both quite aroused.

Alfred pulled his underwear down, taking his hard cock into his hand. He stroked it a bit more until it became fully erect, before he pumped it in a steady rhythm.

"Mm... You're so hot, babe..." he muttered into his phone. Arthur didn't really say anything, but instead he just blushed.

He watched Arthur insert his lubricated fingers inside himself, his face all flushed and red. Alfred matched his rhythm to Arthur's on the screen, his breath hitching slightly. Alfred felt quite needy now; a simple porno wouldn't satisfy the craving he had for Arthur that moment. "Mmmh..."

"Arthur... I wish you were here..." he muttered, his eyes shutting for a while, and he could only hear the other's breathing onto the receiver and the other's moans in the recording.

"Wh-what are you doing right now, Alfred?" Arthur asked him.

"I-I'm jacking off to your video, silly..." he managed to say. He licked his lips which had turned dry.

"O-oh..." Alfred kept at it. He was almost there... Just a little bit more...

"Alfred...!" Arthur had reached his climax in the video, and the sound of Arthur calling out his name drove him over the edge. "A-Arthur...!" Alfred screamed when he reached his peak, coming a few seconds after Arthur, his cum flowing down his length and onto his hand. He could hear a muffled voice and a sigh on Arthur's end but he chose to ignore it for now.

He let go of himself, wiping his hand on his shirt (he'll put it in the laundry, anyway). He swallowed and waited for the video to end after Arthur's closing words.

"H-how'd you like it...?" Arthur asked him nervously.

"I loved it... You're the best, Artie." Alfred grinned, even if Arthur couldn't see him.

"I-I'm glad."

"What were you doing the whole time you were listening to me?"

"The same as what you were doing..." Arthur admitted. He had to cover his mouth when he came, so that Alfred wouldn't hear him.

"You really are the erotic ambassador." he chuckled.

"Shut up." Arthur rolled his eyes.

"Nah. Anyway, it's probably pretty late there and you should go to sleep. Good night, Artie, I'll call you tomorrow." Alfred smiled as he pulled his pants up.

"All right, good night, Alfred. I miss you." Arthur sighed a bit.

"I miss you too, babe. I love you. Thanks for the porn." he chuckled again.

"You're welcome," Arthur laughed, sounding quite tired on the other end. "I love you too, sweetie. Good night." he said before hanging up.

Damn, Alfred really did have the best boyfriend ever. He smiled to himself as he laid down on the couch, falling asleep when the caffeine wore off.

* * *

**Author's Notes:** Oh wow, I hope I didn't bore you guys or anything? And I'm sorry if it's quite short... I only did this like... 30-45 minutes? Damn. Now I'm sleepy. It's already past midnight. Urk.

It's still not done, though.

Help, why is it so short...

I still want to do more smut chapters, okay. Haha.

Reviews and stuff are appreciated, yes~


	3. Don't Move Too Much

**My Erotic Ambassador**  
**A USUKUS fanfic**  
**Rated M**  
**Warning:** _Smut/sexual content and slight crackyness because I can. This is the brainchild of a perverted, grounded teenager who wanted to write smut at 8 PM. USUKUS._  
**By Galgenhumor (FF/AO3) / cl41r3 (Tumblr)**

**Chapter 3:** Don't Move Too Much...

* * *

Three weeks have passed and Alfred finished his work in the U.S. just in time. He was allowed to go back to the U.K. to be with Arthur until he was needed again.

Arthur tapped his fingers impatiently against his thigh, waiting for Alfred to call. He was seated in the airport's waiting area. Alfred should have arrived at least 40 minutes ago, but he still hasn't called yet.

The ringtone he specially assigned for Alfred's contact sounded muffled in his trousers' pocket. The screen of his phone lit up and it showed a bit through the cloth of his pants. He took his phone out and answered.

"Where are you?" he asked him immediately. Three weeks apart and he already missed him this badly.

"I'm going to the waiting area right now; I'm just checking if you're actually there." Alfred's voice was heard on the other side.

"I've been waiting for an hour and a half!" Arthur groaned a bit, quite exasperated.

"Wait, I'm already here." he said before hanging up. Arthur searched for Alfred's familiar face frantically among the crowd behind him. Finally, he spotted the American, who saw him as well. He beamed at him, grinning from ear to ear. God, he really missed his boyfriend. Three weeks seemed like a year for them.

"Artie!" Alfred called out to him, giving him a small wave. Arthur stood up and pocketed his phone, approaching him.

"Alfred!" he smiled back, giving him a quick hug when he was close enough. "I missed you."

"Not as much as I missed you!" Alfred laughed, ruffling the other's already-messy hair.

"Do you want to go eat somewhere first?" Arthur offered him.

"Sure, man. I'm starved." Alfred sounded quite happy at the invitation, taking Arthur's hand into his as they walked out of the airport.

Arthur's car was parked outside. It wasn't flashy or expensive; it was just a simple car. To him, as long as it's functioning and safe enough, it's fine. Appearances don't really matter much to him. He washes his car every week, but that's about it. He doesn't care about brands or whatever unlike Francis who preferred having a brand-name car.

Alfred loaded his luggage into the boot of the car, slamming it down afterwards. They both went inside, Arthur in the driver's seat. Arthur insisted on driving most of the time, since Alfred wasn't used to driving in Britain that much. Alfred only drove when Arthur was drunk, in fear of killing them both if he let the drunk Brit drive (of course, they were nations so it hardly mattered).

"Where are you gonna take me, Artie?" Alfred asked him while they were on the road.

"Oh, just a restaurant somewhere. Nowhere fancy, really. Unless you preferred a five-star restaurant?" Arthur raised a brow at him.

"Nah, you know I'm not into those fancy-schmancy luxury things." Alfred laughed, placing his arms on the back of his head, assuming a relaxed position.

"Ah, well, that's good to hear." Arthur smiled a bit, glad that Alfred didn't expect to be taken to a fancy dining place.

They parked by the side of the restaurant, where no windows looked out to their side. Both of them got out of the car, entering the restaurant. It was quite normal, really. Like those places that served breakfast food until 11 AM, and was open 24/7.

They seated themselves by a booth in the corner, facing one another. They've been here a few times, so they knew what to order.

"I'd like the seafood pasta, please. Oh, and an iced tea." Arthur told the waitress that had somewhat materialised beside their table a few minutes later.

"Uhh... I guess I'll have the burger and chips, with the spaghetti and fried chicken? Throw in a Coke." Alfred smiled up at the waitress. Arthur snickered once she had taken their orders and left, "Alfred, isn't that the children's combo?" he pointed out.

"I knew that! What's wrong with it?" he asked curiously, looking clueless.

"Alfred, you just ordered from the kiddie meals." he said, as if his point wasn't being made yet.

"Well, it sounded like a good combo! I don't even get why they call it 'children's combo' when the serving is enough for an adult." Alfred laughed a bit, leaning back in his seat.

"Well, I guess it's because you ordered two of the children's combos instead of one?"

"I guess." he laughed again.

They ate, Arthur taking his time and Alfred talking between bites. They talked about what happened when their gone; the things they watched on the telly, the random happenings within those three weeks, current news and whatnot.

"Did ya know there's a zombie in Florida?" Alfred piped up, all excited in a weird way.

Arthur cringed. "Eugh..."

"No, no, not _that_Florida! The real Florida!" he snickered, realising what he might've implied.

"Oh. Damn, what happened there?"

"Dunno. I'm not sure about it and they're still investigating, but they said they'll update me and stuff. I hope it's not real or anything. If it is, I just hope it doesn't spread." he said worriedly.

"Yeah. I wouldn't want you turning into a zombie anytime soon." Arthur looked quite freaked out.

"Eh, that probably wouldn't be possible anyway." he shrugged, taking a chip and pushing it in his mouth. He had to call them chips, and not 'potato wedges' since it would confuse the restaurant staff.

They continued talking until they finished eating and paid for their bill, going back inside Arthur's car.

"Hey Artie, check this out." Alfred grinned at him, pulling down a lever under his seat, making his chair recline 180 degrees.

"Put that back." Arthur looked a bit unimpressed. He couldn't really drive if Alfred was lying down on his seat like that. It would distract him to no end.

"Try it!"

"No, and pull it back up now."

"Come on!" Alfred whined and reached for the other seat's lever, having to lean across Arthur.

"Whoa—!" Arthur exclaimed as his seat suddenly went down with a bump, leveling with Alfred's.

"Cool beans!" Alfred grinned like a little schoolboy who just found out about a new trick. He reached towards Arthur's seat again, this time, towards another lever.

"Damn it, Alfred, will you stop this at once?" Arthur frowned and scolded him, but he was only ignored as his reclined seat slid back into the backseat.

"I've always wanted to try this!" he climbed on top of Arthur, making the smaller man flush red underneath him.

"Please, Alfred, can we save this for later?" Arthur looked up at him, gulping. He hoped Alfred wasn't really going to attempt that...

"But I missed ya, Artie..." he smiled a bit sheepishly before leaning down to softly kiss Arthur. He had missed him so bad, and there's no way he could wait until they got back home.

Arthur's hand made it to the back of Alfred's head, his fingers going through the other's soft, golden locks. He wanted to do it now, even though he knew this wasn't the best place and time to do so.

"Alfred..." he whispered, when Alfred pulled back.

"I-It'll be quick, I swear." Alfred smiled a bit to reassure him as he removed his jacket and his shirt, piling them on top of the other seat.

Arthur couldn't say no... He knew they wanted this, wanted each other, and missed each other's bodily presence...

He gulped and nodded, licking his lips nervously. Thank God for tinted windows and good parking space.

Alfred leaned down again, planting kisses on the other's temple, down to his cheekbone, to his jawline and his neck, his hot breath hitting Arthur's skin. Arthur wrapped his arms around Alfred's, allowing himself to enjoy and savour every second of this.

"We can do it nice and slow today..." Alfred smiled kindly at him.

"I thought you swore it'd be quick...?" he raised an eyebrow, confused at the contradiction.

"Hm... Change of plans." Alfred chuckled sweetly. Arthur couldn't really complain.

Alfred leaned down to kiss him on his lips while his hand slipped inside Arthur's shirt. Arthur poked his tongue out, forcing his way inside Alfred's mouth. Alfred had to admire his straightforwardness this time. Their tongues swirled against one another, minds too focused on lip-lock.

His fingers ran over Arthur's hardened nipples, giving it a light, teasing pinch. It elicited a muffled yelp from the other, his grip tightening on his partner.

Alfred pulled back, a thread of saliva connecting their wet lips. He blushed a bit and wiped it off with his thumb, the thread between them breaking. "I missed you, Alfred." Arthur smiled a bit up at him, his gaze looking soft and kind.

"I know. I missed you too, babe." Alfred smiled back, looking into Arthur's green eyes. They had to admit, sappy romantic sex was also good from time to time. Especially when they've missed each other a lot. Three weeks certainly has taken its toll on them.

Arthur started to remove his shirt, which was quite difficult considering the position he was in right now. He leaned up a bit and Alfred helped him get it off, tossing it to the side along with his clothes once they got rid of it.

Arthur only noticed now that Alfred seemed to have lost some weight, and he looked a bit more toned in the abdominal region.

"Ooh, Alfred, what's this? Did you work out or something?" he teasingly pointed out, looking quite pleased. "Really sexy."

"You like it? Heh, I started to work out in the gym a few weeks ago. Glad ya like it, babe." he said, blushing a bit due to flattery.

Alfred scooted a bit downwards and leaned down, facing Arthur's stomach. He latched his mouth onto it, teeth sinking into his side as he sucked on the spot, leaving a nice, reddish-purple mark. Arthur breathed in what was supposed to be a gasp, shutting his eyes at the immediate pain and pleasure. He gave it a little lick afterwards, slightly smirking up at Arthur. While he was doing this, he managed to get his pants off and on the floor, erection sticking out and all.

His hands went to Arthur's pants, fingers fumbling with the button and zipper. Arthur was already hard just from a little teasing. Not that Alfred could say otherwise for himself, of course. Alfred gave it a little teasing stroke, "Arthur, do you want me to suck you off?" he cooed, smirking. Arthur's throat was somehow blocked, and he could only respond with a slightly desperate nod.

"Say it..." Alfred teased him a bit more, delicately running a finger up and down Arthur's hardened erection.

"Y-yes, please." Arthur managed to say, silently cursing Alfred for being such a damned tease.

"Oh, you're so polite." he chuckled, pulling down Arthur's pants and underwear, and soon enough he was face-to-face with his erection. He was lightly dripping with pre-cum already, the easy bastard. Alfred licked his lips seductively (though Arthur cannot see — his eyes were tightly shut) and took his head in first. His tongue roamed everywhere he could reach, licking the dripping essences up. He dug into the slit, making Arthur moan a bit, his hands clutching to the edges of his car seat.

He pulled back and ran his tongue up his shaft from the base to the tip, before taking half of him in again. He nearly hollowed his cheeks out as he sucked him off, fingers gripping the base and pumping it a bit, making Arthur's breath hitch a bit.

It drove Arthur to the edge, and they weren't even halfway through yet. "Mmm..." he grunted, his eyebrows set into a deep frown.

"Don' cu' ye' Ar'ie..." Alfred slurred, trying to get his message to him the best he can while his mouth was full of cock. He took more of him in, up to the very base, trying to relax his throat so he won't gag.

"I-I won't..." Arthur responded weakly. He was reduced into a pile of goo whenever he was underneath Alfred like this. He never will know how he learnt all these tricks.

He pulled back after a while with a smirk. Arthur was secretly disappointed that he had stopped; he certainly was good at blowing him.

"Damn, we don't have lube." Alfred muttered, suddenly remembering.

"I... I think I have a spare bottle in the... um... popping thing." he pointed to the glove compartment in front of the passenger seat, stumbling a bit because he could not find right term at the moment.

Alfred resisted the urge to ask him just why he had a spare bottle of lube in his car, and instead reached over to grab it. He unscrewed the cap open, slicking his fingers up. His wet finger circled the Briton's entrance, making him shudder at the coldness of the lube. "A-Alfred..." he muttered.

Alfred pushed his finger in, instantly feeling inside his tight, warm hole. "Mm, Artie, you're so tight... When's the last time you let me top?" he teased him a bit, smirking as he rolled his finger around.

"A-ah... A few weeks ago... I guess it's been a month?" he answered uncertainly.

He slid in the second finger, stretching him out a bit. A slightly undignified sound escaped Arthur's lips, before shutting it completely.

"Aww, don't stop, I like hearing you moan for me." Alfred snickered as he prodded around.

Arthur frowned a bit, "Fuck you." he lightly snarled. Both of them knew he rarely meant it when they swore at one another, more so, during sex.

"But you're the one getting fucked here." he chuckled, to which Arthur slightly opened his eyes which glared at him.

"Touché." he muttered back.

Alfred added a third finger, and Arthur had to hold back a gasp. He felt so stretched out, yet he still felt really tight. He wanted Alfred inside him, completely sheathed inside him. Fingers were not enough.

"Alfred... I... I'm prepared now, please put yourself in..." he breathed out desperately, holding onto Alfred tightly.

"Mm, you're quite needy today, hm?" he raised an eyebrow at him.

"Just do it, tosser!" he hissed at him, biting down on his lower lip.

Alfred snickered for a while before removing all three fingers. He took the lube and quickly slathered his erect cock, lining up against Arthur's entrance. He thought about teasing Arthur a bit and how the other would surely despise that right now. He pushed it in, but just the head.

"Ah-Alfred...? Why did you stop?" Arthur asked, looking very disappointed and confused.

"How much do you really want this?" he smirked, his hand lightly caressing the other's cheek.

"Wha—! This isn't the time for your '20 Questions', Alfred!" he snapped at him.

He only kept his brow raised, and when Arthur knew he wouldn't move until he gave him a satisfactory answer, he huffed, "I... I really, really want it."

"Doesn't sound really convincing to me." he shrugged cockily (no pun intended).

Arthur looked at him pleadingly, "I really, really want your nice, long, thick hard cock inside me right now, so please just... just fuck me and quit stalling, you bloody idiot!" he shut his eyes, not wanting to see the triumphant reaction on Alfred's face.

"Mm, that's better." he pushed himself inside, all the way in, in and out rhythmically.

Arthur was relieved they got on with it. His breathing was erratic and he was sweating buckets. The air-conditioner didn't really help right now.

Alfred picked up the pace, slamming into Arthur. He thought hard and concentrated, trying out different angles.

"O-oh, sh—! Alfred! There!" he screamed; his back arching in pleasure. He knew he got it right.

"You like it here?" he said with a devilish smirk, his last word punctuated with another thrust into the same spot.

"Ohh, yes, there!" he moaned, nodding a bit.

Alfred kept thrusting there, his lover's cries and moans pushing him closer to his climax. He wrapped his fingers around Arthur's dripping length again, stroking him until completion.

He moaned quite loudly when he climaxed, the sticky substance getting all over their bodies and his car. Alfred came inside him seconds later, saying Arthur's name. He pulled out and the cum inside Arthur drained out, his dick going soft now.

Alfred collapsed onto Arthur, making him go 'oof!' at the weight of him on his body.

"You did a great job, love." he smiled at him as he whispered into his ear. Alfred was, needless to say, exhausted.

"That's good." he grinned, lightly stroking Arthur's smooth, blonde hair.

"I love you."

"Heh, I love you too, Artie."

Alfred closed his eyes for a moment. Both of their breathing slowly went back to normal.

"Can we just stay here...?" Alfred asked him quietly.

"We need to get home..." Arthur frowned a bit. He certainly would have stayed if they could, but their car probably might be towed if they get careless and fall asleep inside. That would surely be awkward to explain to the towing people.

"Ugh, okay..." he groaned lazily. He wanted to snuggle on top of him forever, all sticky and spent. It didn't really matter as long as they were together again. He slowly got up again, pulling on his shirt with a sigh. Arthur scooted back a bit and leaned on the backseat, putting on his shirt and pants. Alfred reluctantly climbed back into his seat, before Arthur drove them back home.

Thank God for tinted windows.

* * *

**Author's Notes:**FLUFF AND SMUT YES GOOOOOOD. Alfred why are you such a tease, hahaha~

Help, I do not know what this story is even supposed to be about. It's probably just about Arthur and Alfred having sex and whatnot all the time.

What the fuck is wrong with me...? /sobs

Hmm... Let me try incorporating a story into this...

Damn, it's gonna suck. It was originally meant to be like a one-shot or two-shots but, wow, I got so into it.

HOW THE H-E-DOUBLE HOCKEY STICKS DOES ONE PUT PLOT INTO THISSSSS...

Well, there's going to be a Chapter 4, so until then, I shall think of a plot... OOOOR, I could just end it there.

Yeah, I'll just end it on the 4th chapter. It's kinda hard to put plot in this when I started out with a weird first chapter anyway...

So, yeah, I just wasted our times as I talked to myself confusedly.

I guess this is pretty long? Idk. Review and stuff, yeah. Hurr durr. I honestly love you guys, whoever reads this shit I come up with and even take some of their precious time to review. I honestly love you all.


	4. Feel At Home

**My Erotic Ambassador**  
**A USUKUS fanfic**  
**Rated M**  
**Warning:** _Smut/sexual content and slight crackyness because I can. USUKUS_

_{ Sorry for the super-duper late update! Last chapter. }_

**Chapter 4:** Feel At Home

* * *

The very moment they arrived home, car locked and parked, baggage rolled in, and the door shut, Arthur pulled Alfred down and began kissing him fiercely. It startled Alfred at first, but he kissed him back anyway. Arthur pulled back, searching Alfred's face for any sign of want.

"What? Don't tell me you still want more." Alfred smirked. Arthur scowled at him.

"Don't get all smug now. I'll be having my way this time." The shorter man looked into the other's eyes with want. Alfred silently gulped, knowing that he's in for some fierce topping from his lover. Well, that was nice, too.

Arthur pulled him onto the couch, already impatient. He can't stand having to go all the way up to the second floor when a decent place is already nearby.

Alfred sat on one side, legs and feet across the entire couch, whilst Arthur climbed onto his lap. He didn't bother unbuttoning the other's shirt, instead, he just skimmed his hands over Alfred's body, feeling his skin underneath the clothes. He slipped his hand inside, fingers meeting his smooth sides. Alfred jerked a bit, humming. The touch felt nice to him, and Arthur knew it did. He knew where Alfred was weak when touched. And he knew how to exploit it. Fingers made their way to his back, then back to the sides, tracing circles on the flushed American's skin.

He leaned forward, breath hitting Alfred's ear. The hot breath startled him again, and he bit back a moan. Arthur's tongue flicked over Alfred's earlobe, making him jerk even more at the feel of the warm, wet saliva.

Alfred tried to reciprocate but when Arthur did something, it felt really good for him and his nerves abandoned all movement, making him still under Arthur's touches, kisses and licks. Arthur was quite cheesed off, but he remembered that this round was more about Alfred than him, so he shrugged it off. He liked hearing his moans and seeing his pleasure for a change.

Arthur's hand slid lower. He unbuttoned the other's slacks, before he moved his hand towards Alfred's hip and circled his fingers lightly on the slightly protruded bone, then letting his hand glide smoothly down Alfred's thigh, pushing the pants down a bit. Arthur's other hand slid up Alfred's nape and traced vertical lines along it, making Alfred shudder in pleasure. Their lips met and Arthur poked his tongue out, willing Alfred to part his lips and oblige to letting the tongue in.

Arthur's hand teasingly touched Alfred's erection gently, before cupping it into his palm. He grinned wickedly, slowly kneading the base. Alfred let out a needy moan, getting really impatient now.

"Mmnngh..."

"What do you want?" Arthur asked him, his voice husky and seductive all of a sudden.

"F-fuck..."

"Mmm... If you say so..." He smirked. He pushed Alfred's underwear and pants down, as low as he could without having to exert much effort, and began stroking him. Alfred was already fully erect, and his hand were gripping the side of the couch, lust driving him mad. Arthur licked the side of his partner's neck, making him shudder and groan.

Arthur kept on stroking him, pre-cum already dripping down from the head. He used his thumb to use the sticky wetness to arouse Alfred even further.

"Arthurrr..." Alfred hissed. Arthur hummed back smugly in reply.

The Briton stopped to reach for the lube he kept in his pocket, only to find that it was gone, and he must have left it in his car. He cursed to himself. "Alfred... We don't have any lube..."

"Wh-what?!" Alfred cried in disbelief. He can't be left hanging. So Arthur apologised and did the next best thing and went down on him without even asking, making Alfred throw his head back in surprise. He took in almost half of it, tongue swirling everywhere it could reach, saliva coating the penis. Alfred moaned again, hips involuntarily bucking upwards. He tried to stop himself, lest he made Arthur choke on his cock. The pleasure drove him wild, though, and he was unable to stop himself from moving a lot, twitching with every shock.

"Arthur, Arthur, Arthur..." Alfred chanted his name over and over again, knowing that this pleased the Englishman.

Arthur knew where to lick, where to tease, and where it made the American go crazy the most. He knew it all, and he knew how to make him turn into a pile of goo thanks to his skills. Alfred's breathing was hitched, and he was trying to keep himself from moaning too much. His mouth was dry from all that panting, and his heartbeat raced. He rarely got a taste of Arthur topping, and when he did, he knew he was in for a ride.

It was all good, and things were going well, until someone just had to disrupt their erotic love-making.

The doorbell sounded, and Arthur stopped and scowled, as best as he could while having a dick up his mouth. Alfred forced his eyes open, looking disappointed and frankly annoyed at the interruption. Great, way to ruin the mood!

Arthur slowly pulled back, leaving a few licks here and there for good measure. He apologised to Alfred for leaving him, and told him to button his pants as he went to get the door. He wiped his mouth with the cuff of his shirt.

"Package for Mr. Kirkland?"

"Yes. That's me. Where do I sign?" He said, looking most unamused. The delivery guy ignored the fact that Arthur just answered the door with questionable appearance: sweaty face, stained cuffs, wrinkled shirt, and flushed cheeks.

"Here." The delivery guy pointed and Arthur signed. He was handed his package, before the delivery guy left.

Arthur sighed. What was this? He opened the box, and realisation dawned upon his face. Oh.

Lube, and sex toys he bought from the Internet a week ago?

He turned to Alfred with a devilish smirk. Alfred raised a brow, wondering what the expression was about. Looks like he's going to have fun tonight. Maybe the mood wasn't ruined after all.

* * *

**A/N: **Welp. I decided to cut it short because I couldn't take it anymore. I suck at writing smut. It's official. I'm so sorry. ;A; I hope this was a... decent ending... I know it's not satisfactory, but I can't leave it hanging (lol no pun intended) anymore, especially when all that's left is a chapter to complete it... Thanks to those who liked the story! ;w;


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